Mike's Blog

Dick Cheney is going to Hell

US Vice president Dick Cheney presents a crystal dove, The Dove of Peace, to Pope John Paul II during their meeting at the Vatican.

Playing along with the joke, the Pope then pretended to give Cheney communion for the forgiveness of the latter's sins. Both men then burst out laughing, trying not to choke from the irony swelling the room.

"As if," the pope managed to mutter between guffaws. "Like even I could forgive this guys sins. Whoo. Boy is he ever fucked." His Holiness then wiped tears of laughter from his cheek. "A dove of peace...that's a good one. Maybe I'll just show up at the White House with a Winchester or something like that. You know, just to play along."

After Cheney's departure, the Vatican chamber underwent a standard spirititual cleansing, soaking everything in holy water and rubbing alcohol. Twice. Vatican specialists were also called in to conduct de-demonification tests on the pieces of ground where Cheney had stood. "You know how it goes," said veteran exorcism specialist Salvatore Giancarlo. " It's probably all fine but we just want to make sure he didn't leave any of his evil aura behind. We did the same thing when Mussolini was here some sixty-odd years ago. Just standard operating procedure."

Go look at this picture. The Pope's expresion seems to be saying: "Are you fucking kidding me?" Seen it? Okay good. Now go collapse in a fit of epileptic shock at the image of Dick Cheney presenting the Pope with a symbol of peace. Memo to the VP: you ain't fooling anybody in there. God, however, is getting a kick out of your lame ass effort.

Posted by mike at January 29, 2004 12:13 AM