Some questions from the phone interview I just had and the answers I should have supplied.
Q: So what do you do on those morning when you get up and you just don't feel like going to work?
Me: Well, actually the stuggle that I have most mornings involves whether or not I want to go on breathing. The first emotions that hit me once I open my eyes are profound disappointment and rage that I didn't die in my sleep. That's followed by about 5 minutes of crying. Eventually, I just accept it and eat a bowl of Coco Puffs.
Q: I see. That bird on the Coco Puffs box is one sexy character isn't he?
Me: Yes he's a sexy bitch.
Q: What is he anyway? A rooster?
Me: Look, I don't really know. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the bird. Pervert.
Q: So anyway, it says here on your resume that your skilled in urban guerilla warfare.
Me: Yes that's correct.
Q: Have you ever killed a man?
Me: Well, I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Q: Wait, that's a Johnny Cash song if I'm not mistaken.
Me: (whispering but still too audible) Fucking hick country fan knows the song.....(Louder now) Yeah, well, the song is about me and Cash stole it. He's an asshole.
Q: He really is. So I just have one more question. Can you speak in a high falsetto?
Me: I don't know let me try (clears throat). I...me...uh....no I'm sorry. My vocal range consists of four notes, none of them consecutive.
Q: Well allright then! We'll be in touch. Enjoy the cereal (laughing).
Me: Uh, yeah I guess....weirdo. *Click*
Posted by mike at July 16, 2003 04:42 PM"My vocal range consists of four notes, none of them consecutive."
Now THAT'S what I was looking for.
What interview was this?
Posted by: Arianna on July 16, 2003 08:49 PM